May 30, 2009

Oh no! Not you too Hasbro.

In trying to appeal to rhinestone wearing sexting pre-teens it has become apparent that MTV has a created the god awful Heidi Montag to resemble the Hasbro My Little Pony of yore.  

March 4, 2009

And I never thought I would like Fox News...This is Awesome!

http://unnamed-source.blogspot.com/2009/02/beer-pong-is-really-just-metaphor-for.html

January 15, 2009
Loser.  There is no one in the whole world that I could care less about.   

Loser.  There is no one in the whole world that I could care less about.   

January 14, 2009
Dear Kate Winslet: Please stop bothering me.  I had a two day hangover after NYE.  I swear Tom and Lucy Little were chiseling away at my brain… I was in bed for forty-eight hours straight and threw up a cheese crisp in my sink. Listening to you talk about the thirty movies you have done in 2009 ALONE is so much worse than that.  I would rather visit an art museum with Amy Winehouse than listen to you anymore. I would rather road trip with Miley Cyrus…I would rather compete against Audrina Partridge in a bikini contest- okay, I take that back. That was a tad extreme.  Please retract the last statement.   Kate, please leave me alone.  Please.   LTHornblower

Dear Kate Winslet:

Please stop bothering me.  I had a two day hangover after NYE.  I swear Tom and Lucy Little were chiseling away at my brain… I was in bed for forty-eight hours straight and threw up a cheese crisp in my sink. Listening to you talk about the thirty movies you have done in 2009 ALONE is so much worse than that.  I would rather visit an art museum with Amy Winehouse than listen to you anymore. I would rather road trip with Miley Cyrus…I would rather compete against Audrina Partridge in a bikini contest- okay, I take that back. That was a tad extreme.  Please retract the last statement.  

Kate, please leave me alone.  Please.  

LTHornblower

July 15, 2008

ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

Shia La-Barfmyfaceoff’s bust was spotted in the window of a Bisbee, Arizona art gallery.  

Miss Universe 2008 was pretty awesome.  Especially when you are able to zip through it on Tivo.  There were three amazing highlights during the two-hour show.  Miss USA fell.  Hard.  Then she clapped for herself.  If I fell I would get up and start to pantomime. Like pretend I was trapped in a glass box.  That would be distracting and also impressive.  Right?  Jerry Springer was born to host this shit.  He is perfect. I can’t say enough great things about him and his fascinating ability to always mention the obvious!  The Springer highlight was when he rode in on a scooter shouting what I assume to be ‘lookout’ or ‘ watch the f out I might kill you’ in Vietnamese. He almost knocked down half of Eastern Europe.  They clearly were fearing for their lives. Miss Dominican Republic basically wore a body stalking covered in mirrors and it qualified as a dress.  It was the most amazing thing.  Apparently this is very in on the islands.  Wearing nylons and mirrors will even get you third place in a contest list this.  Well F me in the A.  

Miss Universe 2008 was pretty awesome.  Especially when you are able to zip through it on Tivo.  There were three amazing highlights during the two-hour show. 

  1. Miss USA fell.  Hard.  Then she clapped for herself.  If I fell I would get up and start to pantomime. Like pretend I was trapped in a glass box.  That would be distracting and also impressive.  Right?
  2.  Jerry Springer was born to host this shit.  He is perfect. I can’t say enough great things about him and his fascinating ability to always mention the obvious!  The Springer highlight was when he rode in on a scooter shouting what I assume to be ‘lookout’ or ‘ watch the f out I might kill you’ in Vietnamese. He almost knocked down half of Eastern Europe.  They clearly were fearing for their lives.
  3. Miss Dominican Republic basically wore a body stalking covered in mirrors and it qualified as a dress.  It was the most amazing thing.  Apparently this is very in on the islands.  Wearing nylons and mirrors will even get you third place in a contest list this.  Well F me in the A.  

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